Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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