Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
