How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
