Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
