I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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