I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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