After last night, I could never be a politician.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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