walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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