don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
