i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
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