i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
