If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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