I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
