if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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