its not stalking. its research.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Never let your siblings swipe right.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
