I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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