Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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