the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
