genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
