ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize