Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
