I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
