R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Sorry my hands just texted you
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
