the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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