Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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