We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
