i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
