I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
