you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
You ruined the universe
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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