But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
