Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
