I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
