Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
