Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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