I feel like I'm in dance class right now
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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