The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
