I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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