I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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