Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
