at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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