u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
