I'm eating all of the evidence.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
