Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
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