its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
