doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
