I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
