Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
