my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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