Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
