he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
