Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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