I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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